Stop the confidence crunch

Navigating the key moments...

Confidence is an annoying little beast, it has the potential to hold us in good stead, or waiver when we least expect it, at key moments.

When negotiating, this can be the difference between actively participating, or choking at the start line.

THIS is why it’s so important for you to prepare and practice ahead of your significant negotiations.

Let’s put this into context:

Last week we had a session with *Jenny*, a successful business leader with years of experience, and an opportunity to step up into a new, bigger role.

Through the process we learnt how qualified and ready (well overdue) she is for the role. As it’s a pretty big step up, we could also see what a game-changing opportunity this was for *Jenny* – not only to be recognised, but to be renumerated at the next level too.

We worked closely with *Jenny* to prepare – we mapped out the plan, played Negotiation Bingo, we role-played the conversations and practiced throwing curveballs her way, the works.

All this so she could hear herself (many times over) saying what she wanted, why she deserved it, and the research she’d done to know it was a fair and reasonable ask.

BUT we could also tell that *Jenny’s* bravado for asking for what she really believed she deserved, was going to be challenged once she got to the door.

You know, that moment when the preparation is done, the meeting is set, and you’re standing outside the room to make ‘the ask’ – THAT’s the moment that little shape-shifter, confidence, can waiver and blow up the whole show.

THIS the moment you prepare and practice for.

So we did more work with *Jenny* to ensure she was certain her approach was open-minded, flexible and knowing what she was asking for would take time and effort to secure, but was solid, so she was good to go in making ‘the ask’.

BUT we know that little changeling, confidence, can waiver again when you’re at the table ready to make ‘the ask’, when you crumble, despite all your preparation.

When they start to push back even a little bit, you fold (or fight, but that’s a story for another day).

THIS the moment you prepare and practice for.

*Jenny* had to be clear on the signs that indicated if they could or could not reach agreement, and how she was going to manage the conversation either way. Were they open to collaboratively building a package the role warrants, or was there going to be a lot of rhetoric and excuses?

Then, we knew she was ready.

The bravery to hold your nerve in these key moments comes from preparing effectively.
But stopping your confidence morphing on you in these moments – that takes practice.
If you’re facing a significant negotiation that you’d like to discuss, lock in a free 15 minute strategy session:
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Negotiator Profile Quiz

Step 1 of 2

  • This tool will give you an understanding of what type of negotiator you currently are.

    The questions will take just a few minutes to complete, and you will receive an outline of your negotiator profile at the end.

    To complete this free questionnaire, please fill your details into this form.

Negotiator Strengths Self-Assessment

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Step 1 of 10

It’s time to identify where your negotiator strengths lie, and to discover where you should focus your energy to improve your business negotiation capabilities.

This self-assessment is about the negotiator you are today, not the one you want to be, so as you work your way through each statement, sit in it, take your time to reflect on your typical response and give it a true assessment rating. It may be challenging but be honest.

Assessment Scale

Read through each question then think about how much the behaviour or situation sounds like you.

Consider if this sounds: least like you; a bit like you; or like you most of the time – in most situations around and at the deals table.

Take your time, but don’t over think it.

Below each question select how you score it on this scale:


1 = Least2 = A Bit3 = Mostly